It took me most of my life to learn that I’m allowed to change my mind. As I found myself in a 12-step support group eight years ago, I heard ideas that were new to me. I learned that some decisions I thought were expected of me and morally right were actually codependent, some behaviors that I thought should be tolerated were actually abusive, and that I am not a failure if I realize that quitting something is best for me. I was so reluctant to attend my first meeting. My therapist felt so strongly that I needed those meetings that she lowered her hourly rate to cover the babysitting that I needed in order to attend the meetings. I was so out of my comfort zone for the first few weeks, but then it quickly became my lifeline. These people understood what I had been through.
When I retrace my steps to figure out why changing my mind can feel so incredibly difficult I find the feeling of shame. I’ve somehow always felt like a serial quitter, even though I owned and operated my own business for nearly ten years and stayed in an unhealthy relationship for eighteen years. When I quit both I was realizing that they were either no longer healthy for me or they had never been. Through both of those experiences I came to learn that quitting is not the same as failing. And changing my mind can be a way of taking care of myself and the people in my life.
We can change our mind about lots of things, big things and small things. I change my mind about something I wanted to do earlier in the day when I become aware that I’m feeling overwhelmed. I change my mind about what’s for dinner when I decide to make something easier or get a craving. I change my mind about my hair color. I change my mind about my career path for the next season. I change my mind about what I want to write about in a newsletter.
We are allowed to change our minds. Try it. Let yourself change your mind about something right now.
If you want to share one, I’d love to read it.
♥️
Yess!!
Love this!