Simplify
Truth be told, I pulled this title out of thin air and typed it out. I think I’m just craving less. Less pulls for my attention. Less expenses. Less complexity in life. Less decision making. Less cat hair. Less of my own hair falling onto the floor. Less fear and doubt and questioning.
More of the kids are going to school in a couple of weeks after strictly homeschooling this past school year (except for one), but as the start dates quickly approach I’m finding that I feel anxious about life feeling more complex than I’m up for. Seven of the kids will be going in four different directions. How do two parents manage that? I don’t know, but one thing I feel strongly about is being open to shifting the plan. It’s ok to change your mind. That is something I used to feel shame about: changing my mind after a decision was made. I don’t any more, but I do always want to take into consideration how my kids will feel. Nothing I do only affects myself or even Matt. It affects a whole slew of people. Not only our nine kids, but three co-parents: Matt’s ex-wife, my ex-husband and his girlfriend. I don’t take decisions lightly (which is why it stings more when others don’t seem to give a flying fuck about how their decision affect us.)
So here I am, feeling pretty overwhelmed, adding in many more commutes to our schedule and opening a retail store and launching an Airbnb out-of-state. I have the notion that working at the store several days a week will help me feel more peaceful. As I type that out I’m suddenly hoping no one who reads this owns their own retail store and writes me off as a crazy person. I guess we will see what feels peaceful. One of the most important aspects of being open to changing my plans is knowing that I am not trapped in any circumstance. And I need to get out of the house and what better way to do that than creating the funnest environment that I can dream up and build as it grows. Creating a place where friends will want to stop in to say hello and grab a little something special for themselves or a friend is the absolute best thing I can dream up right now.
What was I saying about simplifying?